You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
