Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
