So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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