I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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