My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Sacagawea was the original milf.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
