my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
