Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
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