Betty ford says i'm here all night
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
