I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
