We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just googled if crying burns calories
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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