So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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