You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
