My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
