There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
