it hurts more in the daytime
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
