he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Reggie can tackle my bush.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
