she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
