I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
