We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Blood and glitter go together right?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
