if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
