STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
