I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
