Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
