we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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