I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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