bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
