dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
