Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
bring money and cleavage
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
