I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
