He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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