More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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