How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Randomize
