Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
two words: eviction party
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
