i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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