You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
