you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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