Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
