I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
