i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
