I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
