Cold hands, warm shart.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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