He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
