He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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