This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
