I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
