I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
