Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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