if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
