my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
