Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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