What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
