I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
